the barrier at my first gig

My sister got us to the barrier two hours early and we held it like it was a job. When the lights finally dropped, the whole room fell forward at once, and she braced an arm on either side of me and shouted you're fine, I've got you, straight into my ear. And she did. The whole night, through every surge.

The bass came up through the barrier and into my hands. I came out with someone else's drink down my back and my ears ringing into Tuesday, hoarse for three days, and I have been chasing that exact feeling into every dark room with a stage in it since.